My Freedom Room: A "Free to Be Me" Space

Dear Readers,

Tah Dah!

I did a thing...

Well, Ben helped me do this thing.

It's my Freedom room.

Free. to. be. ME. space.

This is the downstair's bedroom in our house.  We've had people live with us in this space the last year,  but now it's my own personal "office."  Since I work constantly all day. everyday. either teaching or mothering.  I really didn't want another work space.  I just wanted a space where I was free to think. do. say. and be.

Between a season of marriage counseling, three moves, four back to back pregnancies, and still working-  Crystal (you know that person before the career, the marriage, and the kids) needs a break.

I am constantly being told what needs to be done, who needs to be cared for, and what is to come.  I've become so self-aware about it that I'm trying to be proactive in creating margin in my life to help deal with it all.

Ahh...Margin.

It's a term we first learned about in Marriage counseling... then, I heard it again in Bible Study and then again, in my devotional last night.

Margin is defined in my devotional as "leaving room in your schedule to slow down, but it also means choosing to be still even when tasks needs to be complete.

I confess.

I. have. a. REAL. problem. with. having. margin.

Ben and I have had years of crazy schedules with raising the small kids and working.  

Owning our home, Raising/Feeding our kids, and Doctor/Teacher Responsibilities that can't be finished during "clocked in" hours- keep the task list endlessly long.

Growing up in my family margin was non existent. 

We only slowed down one week a year to go on vacation.

However, raising my kids in this modern time-  you can't afford to go that long and still feel mentally sane.

Henceforth, I asked Ben for this space.

He kept calling it a refuge and I agreed.  

It's. a. therapeutic. spot.  for me to process life and think freely.

I leave my expectations outside of the door.

I allow myself to create. dream. think. and write.

I read. I journal.

I dab into work here and there. but at my pace. in my space.

no pressure.

Once he said yes, I had the couch and desk ordered and picked out within days.

I picked up the wall decor and table at the Christian store which was closing down in town.  I got to support a business I loved and get awesome stuff for cheap- Only Jesus!

I didn't want any pre-determined expectations or thoughts- even from myself or loved ones.

So,  I packed up all my inspiration cards and quotes I usually hang up (for YEARS) to encourage me in the present day.  I dated the envelopes and put them in the closet.

I'm determined to dream bigger than that.

 If God has brought me good in my life at 36 years of age, I believe 

He has greatness in store for me to come.

I tend to get too caught up in what other people think in general.  So, I hold myself back at times subconsciously wanting to not change so I can still be that ______ for someone.

In the Bible, Jesus always talks about being made new... you are a new creation... renewing your mind... etc.

Well, I want that for myself constantly and consistently.

I hope to surpass my biggest dreams and reach for the impossibles of life.

I. am. crazy. enough. to. trust the Lord. and. try.

So, the words hung up around the room are only scripture or words that point to scripture.  When I read the Bible and who the Lord  says I am- that's when I feel most free to think this way.

So... I declare...

 In faith, His. WORD. is. enough. for. all. things.

Including Me.

I love my new space and I'm excited about who I'll become in this space.

Thanks for reading,

Love. Always,

Crystal