My Story of Renewing My Mind and Re-Purposing My Life
Hey Readers!
This is a picture of my relaxing Sunday....
This is a picture of my relaxing Sunday....
I got to sleep in until 8:30 am.
Reagan and Reggie are hard at work- drawing and writing letters.
Wyatt is playing with his car.
Jude, of course, is eating.
Ben is behind his camera- just for fun.
A morning like this can last up to two hours... and they are my favorite.
No schedule.
No rush.
No fuss.
And- Yes. That is me doing work- and, yes, I consider it relaxing.
My thoughts.
My plans.
Just for me.
I am a woman who loves to share things and give things to others.
I build my life on serving others before myself and caring for my family. I'm starting to rethink and renew my mind that relaxation is the freedom to have space and time to "think" and "be" myself .
When I look at this picture, I see that of myself.
With four small kids and a "busy" marriage, I've had to renew my mind to accept that I need "time" and "space" for me in the context of daily, family life. In this case, it was at the kitchen table early on a Sunday morning.
Don't get me wrong.
I hate that I am behind a screen.
But, I'm thankful for it.
Behind this screen, I am free to be "me."
I'll. say. it. louder.
Behind. this. screen. I. am. free. to. be. ME.
No one asks of me anything.
I don't feel misunderstood because I'm not talking to someone.
I'm just talking "aloud."
My husband and I are definitely in transition with our marriage. The last ten years of our marriage has been catered to Ben and his calling as a doctor/ provider for our family. Every move, every schedule change, and all of our domestic duties/family plans have been carefully calculated around his job.
As a wife and co-parent, there has always been sacrifices along the way and, in some cases, I think I put myself last in mental and physical self-care to make our lives work.
Now, almost a year postpartum, I realize that I need to care for myself to really be a STRONG wife and mother.
As crazy as it is, being an educator in the public school system has reawakened my soul to be all that I can be again.
Not for me.
For my husband.
For my kids.
For my students and colleagues.
My husband keeps telling me that I'm special and after hearing it a couple of times more recently than usual...
I finally asked him why he keeps saying that.
He explained that it was like having Ferrari.
Everyone around you knows it is such an awesome car, but after awhile, you get used to it and forget how awesome and rare it is.
He mentioned that I was firm, yet kind.
Pretty and that I care for the family well.
Then, he said I'm so smart and ridiculously creative.
Sometimes he doesn't understand how I do things but I do them well.
He said he looks forward to getting to know me more and more each day.
I. officially. felt. adored.
We are at a point in our marriage where we are shifting and changing past the man and woman we once were when we were dating. He had to put away he dreams of drag racing and fast cars. I had to actually have enough guts to have dreams and interests outside of him and the kids.
We love our kids a ridiculous amount... I mean we still stare at them and marvel at their every word or conversation. We would still like to have more.
At the end of the day, Ben is a great doctor. But, that's not all God has planned for my man to be. So, we are exploring God's plan for Ben outside of his work.
As for me, I am -with no shame for the first time- enjoying my time behind this screen.
Whether it's planning or creating a new lesson plan; blogging, or online shopping. I'll get my "me" time in whenever I can.
I'm super excited about the following picture. It's a potential office space just for me. I was honest with Ben that I needed a space to retreat to when things got to be too much. I could spend some time "away" even though I was home.
So far, I've gotten a couch and ordered a desk. I'm so excited!!
Hopefully, I'll have lots of fun memories in this space and feel free to create many things here.
Shoutout to my loving husband Ben. Thanks for your support.
I love you.
Love. Always,
Crystal
Don't get me wrong.
I hate that I am behind a screen.
But, I'm thankful for it.
Behind this screen, I am free to be "me."
I'll. say. it. louder.
Behind. this. screen. I. am. free. to. be. ME.
No one asks of me anything.
I don't feel misunderstood because I'm not talking to someone.
I'm just talking "aloud."
My husband and I are definitely in transition with our marriage. The last ten years of our marriage has been catered to Ben and his calling as a doctor/ provider for our family. Every move, every schedule change, and all of our domestic duties/family plans have been carefully calculated around his job.
As a wife and co-parent, there has always been sacrifices along the way and, in some cases, I think I put myself last in mental and physical self-care to make our lives work.
Now, almost a year postpartum, I realize that I need to care for myself to really be a STRONG wife and mother.
As crazy as it is, being an educator in the public school system has reawakened my soul to be all that I can be again.
Not for me.
For my husband.
For my kids.
For my students and colleagues.
My husband keeps telling me that I'm special and after hearing it a couple of times more recently than usual...
I finally asked him why he keeps saying that.
He explained that it was like having Ferrari.
Everyone around you knows it is such an awesome car, but after awhile, you get used to it and forget how awesome and rare it is.
He mentioned that I was firm, yet kind.
Pretty and that I care for the family well.
Then, he said I'm so smart and ridiculously creative.
Sometimes he doesn't understand how I do things but I do them well.
He said he looks forward to getting to know me more and more each day.
I. officially. felt. adored.
We are at a point in our marriage where we are shifting and changing past the man and woman we once were when we were dating. He had to put away he dreams of drag racing and fast cars. I had to actually have enough guts to have dreams and interests outside of him and the kids.
We love our kids a ridiculous amount... I mean we still stare at them and marvel at their every word or conversation. We would still like to have more.
At the end of the day, Ben is a great doctor. But, that's not all God has planned for my man to be. So, we are exploring God's plan for Ben outside of his work.
As for me, I am -with no shame for the first time- enjoying my time behind this screen.
Whether it's planning or creating a new lesson plan; blogging, or online shopping. I'll get my "me" time in whenever I can.
I'm super excited about the following picture. It's a potential office space just for me. I was honest with Ben that I needed a space to retreat to when things got to be too much. I could spend some time "away" even though I was home.
So far, I've gotten a couch and ordered a desk. I'm so excited!!
Hopefully, I'll have lots of fun memories in this space and feel free to create many things here.
Shoutout to my loving husband Ben. Thanks for your support.
I love you.
Love. Always,
Crystal
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