Race and Culture Do Matter: Having a Foreigner Perspective in America
Dear Readers-
I can't explain it.
BUT-
I. feel. it. all. the. time.
Especially today as an adult- married to a white guy and raising our biracial kids. I'll notoriously find myself feeling different.
When I look in the mirror- it's hard to miss.
I. look. different.
When I look in the mirror- it's hard to miss.
I. look. different.
My Race. My Culture. My Foreigner Perspective.
I was born in America, but I was raised under Filipino values, beliefs, customs, and traditions.
Growing up, I felt most "American" at school and around town. However, at home, it was all filipino- all the time. From the way I was disciplined to my thoughts about hard work and education. It's all from being raised Filipino. If you like how organized and clean my house is, thank you mom and dad. They raised us to be that way. I even have a passion for hospitality because my mom and dad have always shown that to me, my siblings, and my friends.
I was born in America, but I was raised under Filipino values, beliefs, customs, and traditions.
Growing up, I felt most "American" at school and around town. However, at home, it was all filipino- all the time. From the way I was disciplined to my thoughts about hard work and education. It's all from being raised Filipino. If you like how organized and clean my house is, thank you mom and dad. They raised us to be that way. I even have a passion for hospitality because my mom and dad have always shown that to me, my siblings, and my friends.
I'm. so. grateful.
My parents migrated here in 1961 through the Navy. They would constantly tell me life is not fair Crystal. When my siblings and I would complain about (_____), my parents would constantly tell us stories of how hard they had it growing up in the Philippines and the many jobs they were working to make us a life here.
Life. was. not. fair. for. them.
I witnessed it for myself, as a kid, how unfair my parents were treated because of their accents even by the bank teller or check out person at the grocery store. It would always strike an instant offense in my mom. Being that I was born and taught in this country, I grew less and less offended by it as time went on. The American in me thought "Mom, she doesn't understand you. You need to speak better English or just let me speak for you." One time, I tried to speak for my mom at the bank and she reprimanded me in the car for it. I didn't get it then, but now, I completely understand. I'm so sorry mom.
Some of the accepted systems and social etiquettes of our country is still really foreign for foreigners.
Many of the well paid salary jobs only come with education, but education wasn't always free to everyone.
If you wanted your family to have that opportunity for your kids, you had to work labor intensive jobs and work multiple jobs to make it happen. My parents WORKED a lot and my siblings watched and raised my brother and I. We all had to pitch in and do our part. We couldn't afford a cleaning service or lawn care. Honestly, we didn't have a choice if we wanted to go to college.
Also, networking is key in our country. It's about who you know. Opportunities are for everyone-but really knowing the right person is what opens the door. Even if you do everything right and are a law-abiding citizen, you have to work yourself up from the bottom. In doing so, we can expect to work 10x harder than everybody else. Still, even then, there are no guarantees.
I was raised in predominantly Filipino communities. Besides school and my neighbors in the neighborhood, everyone we knew was Filipino. That was our comfort.
Since marrying Ben, I have spent most of my time in predominantly white communities. The neighborhood we currently live in is the most diverse I've experienced the whole time we were together. I can't explain it- but this is where my story begins in terms of the "heart change" behind the idea that race and culture still matter.
I can't tell you how many different scenarios in my marriage, the new community we move into, or even in ministry- where I felt more foreign in my viewpoints, values, and ideas. It is because I favor my filipino upbringing in the context of my American life.
In fact, because the American way is growing more divided than ever in opinions and options, I prefer to raise my own kids under the same filipino values my parents taught me when I was little. In fact, as hard as marriage and parenting truly is, I think my cultural background is the saving grace of all that I am and how hard I'm willing to fight to pursue and protect it.
In general, as an educator, minority, and mom, please consider race and culture as you build relationships with others. Feeling like a foreigner because of how you are raised differently can feel really awkward and lonely at times. But, if you can open yourself up to it, you might be surprised what you can learn and how others can serve you in unexpected ways.
With Love. Always,
Crystal
My parents migrated here in 1961 through the Navy. They would constantly tell me life is not fair Crystal. When my siblings and I would complain about (_____), my parents would constantly tell us stories of how hard they had it growing up in the Philippines and the many jobs they were working to make us a life here.
Life. was. not. fair. for. them.
I witnessed it for myself, as a kid, how unfair my parents were treated because of their accents even by the bank teller or check out person at the grocery store. It would always strike an instant offense in my mom. Being that I was born and taught in this country, I grew less and less offended by it as time went on. The American in me thought "Mom, she doesn't understand you. You need to speak better English or just let me speak for you." One time, I tried to speak for my mom at the bank and she reprimanded me in the car for it. I didn't get it then, but now, I completely understand. I'm so sorry mom.
Some of the accepted systems and social etiquettes of our country is still really foreign for foreigners.
Many of the well paid salary jobs only come with education, but education wasn't always free to everyone.
If you wanted your family to have that opportunity for your kids, you had to work labor intensive jobs and work multiple jobs to make it happen. My parents WORKED a lot and my siblings watched and raised my brother and I. We all had to pitch in and do our part. We couldn't afford a cleaning service or lawn care. Honestly, we didn't have a choice if we wanted to go to college.
Also, networking is key in our country. It's about who you know. Opportunities are for everyone-but really knowing the right person is what opens the door. Even if you do everything right and are a law-abiding citizen, you have to work yourself up from the bottom. In doing so, we can expect to work 10x harder than everybody else. Still, even then, there are no guarantees.
I was raised in predominantly Filipino communities. Besides school and my neighbors in the neighborhood, everyone we knew was Filipino. That was our comfort.
Since marrying Ben, I have spent most of my time in predominantly white communities. The neighborhood we currently live in is the most diverse I've experienced the whole time we were together. I can't explain it- but this is where my story begins in terms of the "heart change" behind the idea that race and culture still matter.
I can't tell you how many different scenarios in my marriage, the new community we move into, or even in ministry- where I felt more foreign in my viewpoints, values, and ideas. It is because I favor my filipino upbringing in the context of my American life.
In fact, because the American way is growing more divided than ever in opinions and options, I prefer to raise my own kids under the same filipino values my parents taught me when I was little. In fact, as hard as marriage and parenting truly is, I think my cultural background is the saving grace of all that I am and how hard I'm willing to fight to pursue and protect it.
In general, as an educator, minority, and mom, please consider race and culture as you build relationships with others. Feeling like a foreigner because of how you are raised differently can feel really awkward and lonely at times. But, if you can open yourself up to it, you might be surprised what you can learn and how others can serve you in unexpected ways.
With Love. Always,
Crystal
Comments
Post a Comment