My Intuition: Integrating My Family Back Into the Real World

Dear Readers,

Quarentined family photo

I can't explain it-but I feel that it's right.   It's time to integrate my family back into the real world.

This feeling came about this week after much anticipation for Phase 1 to begin in Virginia.

I had to reflect- what does that mean for me?

Then, I quickly looked around and began to rephrase that question- what does that mean for US?

Our family.

Well, I was stewing all week on it making little decisions here and there but, then this happened....

A SURPRISE DRIVE BY BABY SHOWER

for Baby Miles!

All the cars involved!

Mastermind:  Crystal McCleese

Participants:  Some of my treasured family and friends

My response: just tears- all joyful tears!

I felt SO loved and COMPLETE at the same time.

I miss my family and friends.

*Wish we had more pictures because it was SO Epic!  Ben, brought his camera out but was so excited "in the moment"- he forgot to snap any haha*

That's Zoe and Vanessa standing out of the sunroof like an 80s movie!

They complete OUR lives.

It was the confirmation that I needed to make preparations in getting our family back into the real world- as divisive and scary as it is right now-  to see more of those people again- some day, one day-

Progressively, over time- with their smiling faces and lives in mind-

I'm prepping my family week after week to make strides in functioning in the new normal without complete isolation.

What does that mean?

1.  Ben and I are going to be prayerful and actually consider social requests when they come our way- we aren't going to be quick to say no.  We will just literally "pray and think over it" then answer.  

2.  I'm starting to teach and model for my kids NOW about correct quarantine protocol.  My sister ordered them masks and I'm going to spend time this week teaching them how to wear it, how to take it off, and what it protects us from.  I am going over hand washing procedures and when to sanitize.  

3.  Outdoors for the WIN!  Being outside in the fresh air is something my husband and I are more comfortable with.  My kids and I are adopting my parent's raised bed in their backyard and we are going to grow, tend, and start the garden for them.  We took the above quarantined family picture after some of my family parked and  came out to talk on the drive way for 10-15 minutes.  

 I don't think  my husband and I are ready for restaurants and stores- but we will start here for now and see where it leads us- our hearts are open to the Holy Spirit to direct us on the how and when to integrate.  We are excited about creative possibilities!

To begin talking about any of this has been hard for my husband and I because there are so many unspoken factors that come into play.  There are no absolute rights and absolute wrongs.  It literally is a walk of faith over fear and a leading of your heart for what works best for your family.

Our main desire through this:

Proceed with wisdom in all we do.

We really just want to be wise for our family's health, but also for the well being of everyone around us.  That is what we believe God calls us to do each day.

For Covid-19,

It's the unknowns that are so overwhelming.

Being two months into quarantine reminds me of being two months into the postpartum period.

I still remember sitting in my rocker after having Reagan and telling Ben- Today is eight weeks.

Ben's remark:  Yeah. You've been like a permanent light fixture in the house.

(*Don't worry- I told him how insensitive that comment was and to never make that joke again)

meaning-  I never left home.

I remember the fears of getting her sick, not being able to handle myself alone at the store, forgetting something, breastfeeding in public, cries on the drive, or just hurting myself from being so sleep deprived- stopping ANY thought of going out into the real world.

Until, I heard that comment.

Then, something snapped in me- 

I can't live my life this way anymore.

I ended up leaving Ben with the baby, showering, and getting actually dressed, and eating at a restaurant alone that night.

With every kid I have had,  it takes me around 2 months to feel the intuition that life is worth "living"  outside of the house again.

These are all pictures of me and my newborn sons- doing what new moms do best- lounging, feeding, and bonding- with off and on cat naps here and there.

This is your daily life for weeks at a time.

Eventually, it gets to a place where you manage more than that "normal" after you and the new baby feel comfortable with each other.  It starts to become more manageable and you adapt your new family into new routines.

It's a pretty tough transition- every time.

Even though I've done it four times now, I still feel anxious in those first few steps towards change. 

There is something about caring for other people's lives that motivates me  to be uncomfortable  and do what's best for the whole.

 Having my children in this time pushes me to make wiser choices on their behalf- thinking/dreaming of what I want their health to be like overall through it- not just physical- but mental, spiritual, and emotional as well.

When the cars were driving by for the baby shower, my kids were surprised to!  But you can tell they were not used to seeing those people- in person- the looks they were giving them- were hilarious!  

Through this, I want them to still know those people are just as valuable and real as before this all began.

I don't know when this pandemic will end, but I do feel that it will change everything even after it's gone.  So, it's time to be part of the changes so we, as a family, can still grow and challenge ourselves in the newness of this world.  The world that we once knew maybe a distant memory of our past, but we have so much life to still live and lots of people to live that life with.

Here's to new beginnings for us all!

Family and friends-  you complete us.

We are so thankful for all of you in our lives.

Baby Miles is one lucky baby!

Love you all!

Love.Always,

Crystal