Raising My Sons to Lead a Family One Day

Dear Readers,

 With the addition of Baby Miles, God has officially made me a mother of a band of brothers.

Four. BOYS.

Whoa.

Didn't see that coming but...

as it sinks in-

I'm honored, intrigued, excited, and thankful.

What dreams shall I have for my four boys?!?!!

That's the question I've been stewing on for weeks now- 

But, boy, do I have an answer!

I. want. my. boys. to. lead. a. family. one. day.

Everything I want my sons to be is learned in the context of family.

If I can grow them to lead and love each other, I can grow my boys to lead others.

Too many women- single and married- harbor trust issues.

Too many kids are growing up without fathers.

Too many men carry their own pressures and insecurities- but aren't socially accepted to address them.

In general, too. many. problems. for. my. boys. to. be. born. into.

Well, as their mama, I'm not ready to let the world dump it's problems on my boys.  I'm going to grow their hearts to be the strong men that God has called them to be.  I'm just going to start the lessons now.  

I'm strategically teaching them how to love Jesus, themselves, their siblings, their parents, and the world.

PROBLEMS AND ALL.

I assign them chores and I don't always just give into what they individually want.  I make them compromise for each other.  When they are tasked with something, I make them do things over and over again until it's done the right way.

I tell them- I can wait on you- I love you. 

I am strict in how they talk and act with each other-especially as brothers.  You would be surprised how a simple word could literally start a hitting brawl- even in the toddler ages.  

Boys are more physical, but they are also very emotional.

I make a point to address both.

For my boys, the physical outbursts are due to something emotional inside.

I teach my boys to not scream, but talk to each other. 

Such. a. HARD. lesson.

It's easier to feel heard when you are screaming.

I don't let them poke, play fight, or hit.

Because, when they are mad, they can't turn it off.

It becomes a habit of revenge, anger, and annoyance.

When I can trust better coping mechanisms,  a little rough housing won't be a problem.  

Because I want my boys to be men of character, strength, and humility,

they have to learn with each other and from each other.

Reggie, the eldest, will follow after Ben, my husband.

Wyatt, Jude, and Miles- will follow their leads.

Imperfection is expected, but...

(1) they always have each other

(2)  they always have the journey together

As for me, my job is to encourage them  throughout the journey and believe they can truly become lead men.

I tell Reagan all the time- They are capable.  They can think for themselves.  They are strong and brave.

Let them talk. Let them learn.  They are big brothers too.

I want to never grow complacent in this dream for my sons.

I will pray, encourage, and love my boys in the manners they need to grow.

If I stay committed to them,  they will know the true value and honor in making commitments to others.

Then, they won't be scared to be enough for their future wives and kids one day.

Thank you Lord for my sons!

Love. Always,

Crystal