When It's More Than Ok To Face Your Past
If I've learned anything from this blogging experience the last year, it's this...
It's okay to face your past.
I've had nothing but growth since I first shared my heart behind this screen and keyboard a year ago.
I think the thoughts and words just needed a home after I experienced my first few months of counseling in the Spring of 2019. When I stopped to deal with my current problems, it was nearly impossible not to address the things of my past. In fact, as I face new problems even today- I constantly have to go back and remember....
Where they've come from..
How often they occur...
and
Then, ask:
Can I do anything about it now?
It's NEVER easy.
It's completely necessary.
To grow, change, and honor God,
I must continue the GOOD FIGHT to (1) love deeply and (2) be true to myself.
To love deeply...
I can't forget where I came from.
The main themes of my posts this year have been about my family, my career, and womanhood.
These are the most impactful areas of my life. My family and the way they raised me- shaped me as a person. My ideals, morals, values, and character all come from them. Teaching is my God-given passion and gifting. It's how I give back and serve others. It's my thrill of adventure and source of greatest creativity. Then, womanhood, it was the one area I didn't know I had so much insecurity with. However, leave it to Jesus, to surround me- constantly- around strong, unique, and beautiful women all my life to help encourage, support, and live out our daily struggles that only women endure.
I have found myself to be a fiercely loving person because I have all three of these things in my life still today.
They. are. my. constants.
To be true to myself implies...
I. MUST. Always. KNOW. MY OWN. SELF.
Until I was willing to acknowledge the areas above as part of my ongoing story, I wasn't secure enough to accept the woman I was becoming- married and now with almost five kids.
I lost myself in their needs and wants for many years,
but- Jesus got a hold of my heart-
and I've rediscovered myself in. the. context. of. having. my. own. family.
My husband.
My kids.
I'm not on my own anymore.
They. complete. me.
Now, I delight in being a wife and a mother.
I know I am enough- just as I am.
Every part of me has changed -to make space for caring for their lives.
I'm a better woman for it.
When I think of the impact I could have on their futures and hearts,
I want. more. for. myself.
I do things I would not have had the courage to do before.
I say things I don't even want to say or talk about.
I face my own problems instead of run from them.
I acknowledge fears, anxieties, and sin in my life- because I don't want to pass them down or hurt them.
I wait on things I would have taken care of myself-
just so one of them or all of them can grow stronger and learn for themselves.
That is my TRUE. SELF.
That is God's calling for my life.
That's the real me.
I have enjoyed this last year of blogging and appreciate life's history more than ever.
I live a life inspired by the love of a faithful God and am humbled daily by the gift of my own family.
Here's to more adventures, more insights, and just more words...
Thank you Lord for all of it.
Thank YOU for reading!
Love. Always,
Crystal
It's okay to face your past.
I've had nothing but growth since I first shared my heart behind this screen and keyboard a year ago.
I think the thoughts and words just needed a home after I experienced my first few months of counseling in the Spring of 2019. When I stopped to deal with my current problems, it was nearly impossible not to address the things of my past. In fact, as I face new problems even today- I constantly have to go back and remember....
Where they've come from..
How often they occur...
and
Then, ask:
Can I do anything about it now?
It's NEVER easy.
It's completely necessary.
To grow, change, and honor God,
I must continue the GOOD FIGHT to (1) love deeply and (2) be true to myself.
To love deeply...
I can't forget where I came from.
The main themes of my posts this year have been about my family, my career, and womanhood.
These are the most impactful areas of my life. My family and the way they raised me- shaped me as a person. My ideals, morals, values, and character all come from them. Teaching is my God-given passion and gifting. It's how I give back and serve others. It's my thrill of adventure and source of greatest creativity. Then, womanhood, it was the one area I didn't know I had so much insecurity with. However, leave it to Jesus, to surround me- constantly- around strong, unique, and beautiful women all my life to help encourage, support, and live out our daily struggles that only women endure.I have found myself to be a fiercely loving person because I have all three of these things in my life still today.
They. are. my. constants.
To be true to myself implies...
I. MUST. Always. KNOW. MY OWN. SELF.
Until I was willing to acknowledge the areas above as part of my ongoing story, I wasn't secure enough to accept the woman I was becoming- married and now with almost five kids.
I lost myself in their needs and wants for many years,
but- Jesus got a hold of my heart-
and I've rediscovered myself in. the. context. of. having. my. own. family.
My husband.
My kids.
I'm not on my own anymore.
They. complete. me.
I know I am enough- just as I am.
Every part of me has changed -to make space for caring for their lives.
I'm a better woman for it.
When I think of the impact I could have on their futures and hearts,
I want. more. for. myself.
I do things I would not have had the courage to do before.
I say things I don't even want to say or talk about.
I face my own problems instead of run from them.
I acknowledge fears, anxieties, and sin in my life- because I don't want to pass them down or hurt them.
I wait on things I would have taken care of myself-
just so one of them or all of them can grow stronger and learn for themselves.
That is my TRUE. SELF.
That is God's calling for my life.
That's the real me.
I have enjoyed this last year of blogging and appreciate life's history more than ever.
I live a life inspired by the love of a faithful God and am humbled daily by the gift of my own family.
Here's to more adventures, more insights, and just more words...
Thank you Lord for all of it.
Thank YOU for reading!
Love. Always,
Crystal
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