An Encouragement For My Daughter: Your Road to Feminism Can Be As Versatile As Your Shoe Collection
Dear Reagan,
About three years ago, when I picked you up from school one Spring day, I looked at you and realized -you. were. changing.
Typically, I have had moments like this before, when your physical appearance changed or you met another developmental milestone- but this time, I knew it was different.
You were searching for your place- as a strong, young female-
in the context of this world.
As your mother, I was shocked and instantly overwhelmed by this revelation because...
1. You were only 5
and
2. It happened without my permission
But. I. get. it.
That's what you see in your friends in and outside of school.
That's what you see on TV and in the movies.
And, that's what you see in your own family- from me, your aunts, grandma, Lola, Nana, and cousins.
You want your spot.
You decided it was time for you to make your mark on this world too.
Well, it only took three years, but, I am ready to fully accept and support your journey.
Welcome to feminism, young caterpillar!
As a female, God designed us differently. It is more than okay to embrace those differences as strengths and not see them as weaknesses. In fact, it's a mindset you have to have- to make it as a strong female in the real world.
As you have already experienced the last three years, most of your life circumstances are out of your control. As you mature in age, that truth never changes even when you are fully independent and on your own. You can't design a perfect plan for a perfect life or live on a predictable timeline. You'll drive yourself crazy if you continue to try. As you grow in your relationship with Christ, you'll understand who is behind your destiny and future. You'll trust Him more because you'll understand His love runs deep for you- in ways you can't find elsewhere.
In particular, you'll notice that He will always think of you as more capable than you think of yourself.
For that alone , He is worthy of your future.
So, you can- be more and dream bigger-
then what the world says you are to be.
As your mother, my daily prayer for your life is that
1. You. Know. God.
2.. You. Fully. Trust. Him.
I've been in a phase of denial the last few years of fully accepting your changes because mommy's road to feminism hasn't always been easy or supported by others. In fact, in my pursuits to find my place and make my mark in this world, I have made many mistakes, felt many pains; and undergone my fair share of brokenness and sorrows.
But, know this-
No one can ever take your right to try to live your best life.
So...
Try. As. If. No. One. is Watching.
Let your journey be your OWN- and . make. no. apologies. for. it.
Though mommy is late to the game of self-care, I am starting a healthier habit of dealing with myself more kindly this new year. I don't want to be my own self-defeating critic. I want to entertain only the positive, hopeful thoughts for my future. So, I can better regulate my emotions and feel more motivated to keeping moving- keep trying.
Of course, naturally, I want the same for you.
I just didn't know how to explain in a kid-friendly way.
Until...
I. saw. your. shoes.
Both you and I love to express ourselves through fashion-especially our shoes.
You are exceptionally picky about color, comfort, style, and fit. In recent years, your shoes have definitely reflected your interests and trendy, fashion sense. When I think back, even in your early years, you delighted in wearing certain pairs of shoes. In certain pairs of shoes, I knew you felt more free to be yourself- fully confident and fully known. The only way I could get you to stop wearing those particular shoes was when you literally grew out of them and they would not fit anymore. It was always disappointing for you to say goodbye, but you were resilient enough to know that your next best pair was out there- you just needed to find it. So, you always did just that and, through trial and error, you always ended up in the next pair or pairs of shoes that made you feel whole again.
Well, that is exactly how your road to feminism works. If you desire to explore your feminism in the context of this world, you'll need a variety of shoes to survive. Through various seasons and as you age, your taste will constantly evolve over time. Sometimes, you won't depart from certain pairs of shoes for years-even decades. That works in the real world too. Certain female roles you naturally inherit will never be taken away from you (i.e. daughter, mother, granddaughter, wife, etc.). While other shoes only play a purpose in your life for a season or a particular event. That is parallel to the real world because opportunities- especially related to school or work-will always be more temporal and dependent on external factors. Despite the longevity of how long you own each pair or even the pair's purpose, it is important to stay grateful and humble in what you have. Gratitude is the best habit to live by in the realm of big dreams and change.
So, just as you are grateful for your shoe collection, be grateful for your journey to womanhood as well- always.
Only in recent decades, have women been afforded equal opportunities in various places outside the home.
So, at times, we are still making room and finding our space.
Don't be discouraged by the newness of the journey because you are not alone.
Many females share the newness alongside you each day.
Just, think of the journey as you think of your shoes...
You can always find the next "best pair" out there-
Just keep trying and searching.
Never cease your efforts until you feel free- to be fully You- as God made you to be.
I love you and can't wait to see how the Lord uses your journey to build you up and serve others.
You are special.
You are loved.
You are a"little* woman.
And, you are worthy of a roar!
I. am. proud. of. you.
Love. Always,
Your Mom, Crystal
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