No Longer a Victim of Imposter Syndrome

 Dear Readers,

  I attended a conference last weekend that uncovered something I have been struggling with for years, but didn't know anything about...

Imposter syndrome

I had never heard of the concept, but I fit all the criteria below:

- not feeling good enough

- not feeling confident as an expert in my field

- believing that  I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not.

- questioning everything about myself and the motives behind "why" I do things

Well, consider me a victim no. more.

I. know. the truth. now...

I am still the same Crystal from long ago- but married to my plus one- Dr. Goins.

SO, though my name has changed to Crystal Goins,  I (the person) am not trying to be anything other than myself.  

I AM who God has created me to be

and...

 I live in remembrance of it daily.

 I am a kind. generous. funny. high-spirited. woman.

I am  a creative. innovative. and passionate educator.

I value family- as a GOOD wife and mom.

I value faith- as a prayer WARRIOR and SPIRIT-led believer.

I thrive off of two things:  (1) Obedience to God and (2) Serving His People in Need.

I fully believe in my worth and my ideas enough now  to reap all the credit for it.

I am not an imposter at all- I. am. just. fully. ME.

Where ever this journey takes me- I am ready for the ride!

  Sadly, my ambitions of being an author and going back to school didn't come from a place of confidence or encouragement.  In fact, it came from a place of deep shame and hurt.

 I was told once that, "I must think of myself as more important than I actually was."  And, though I forgave the speaker in saying those words to me.  I was more aware that people thought of me in ways that weren't so flattering. 

 Honestly, it intimated me and slowed me down. I finished my book to protect an idea I had come up with ten years prior and I enrolled in school to gain a sense of credibility to how I teach.

Even with a book and a new degree, I still feel the creditibility needs to come from within.

So, this is my first step to saying - YES.

I am .who. I .say. I . am.

I am an incredible teacher, but my style is unique to me.

 I know what I know.

I think what I think.

I do what I think is best.

And, usually, it's really good.

My accomplishments and perspectives comes from a personal view of how I grew up and was raised to think and live my life.  I am a product of my filipino heritage infused with sibling companionship.  Then, I was tossed in with years of experience in leadership roles  with student organizations in college and a multitudes of  part- time jobs.  Then, as I matured, I added faith and real-life experiences like marriage, moving, parenting, ministry, and returning back to work with kids.  My teaching style reflects ME- as a human raising up other little-humans to meet 21st century needs.  I am intentional in the areas of relationships, instruction, and self-care. 

In a nutshell, that is all that I am about.

My mindset has shifted to be an educational leader.

After not just surviving, but thriving in the last four different positions I have held this school year as- teacher, TA, teacher, and virtual teacher, I can tell you-I am legit.

I know my stuff.

My heart and motives are pure.

I am a good influence on the world of teaching and learning.

So, onward with the hard work and grinding!

I am confident enough to take credit for any ideas I have, content I create, or trainings I lead in the future.  I have no clue where my journey will lead me.  However, I am thankful for the opportunity to still be in the game!

Thank you Jesus for making me aware of my potential and freeing me to push towards YOUR best!

With Love. Always,

Crystal