Game Changing Truth: Slothfulness vs. Laziness

 Dear Readers,

Before leaving work on Friday, I read our  daily devotional which had said this:

"To my utter amazement, I discovered that "slothful" doesn't have anything to do with laziness!  It comes from the Greek word nothros and describes something that is dull, monotonous, or unexciting, something that is slow and sluggish, or something that has lost its speed or momentum.  This "something is still moving, but it isn't moving with the same velocity and aggressiveness it once had.  It has lost the drive, thrust, pace, and speed it once possessed.  This word therefore presents the idea of someone who was once zealous about something, but whose zeal has now dissipated, or been replaced instead by neutrality."

- Rick Renner, Sparkling Gems Volume 1

This is the woman I used to be prior to Covid:  

Blissfully ignorant to anything outside of teaching, being a wife, and being a mom

This is the woman I started the New Year as:  

Ignorant no more; guarded and unsure all. the. time.

Neutral but moving.

Last week was the first week I got to teach in my classroom without a mask on.  Also, it was the first week I had returned to work knowing that I intend to return back to the classroom next year.  I can't tell you how much both of those two simple decisions freed me up to feel more like myself again.  That realization coupled with this truth, made me feel a strong conviction inside to  pursue what I am passionate about again:  being myself and lifting up others.  

Yes, I have a new self-project I am working on, but I am not ready to share!

*Don't worry- when it's ready to share- you'll know!

Honestly, being myself in the real world has been a struggle the last two years.  

Blogging and finishing my book exposed me as a great writer.  

Taking on virtual teaching- and succeeding- exposed me as a quick learner and technology "savy"

Going back to school exposed me as smart and ambitious.

Doing all of these things while having five kids at home and a husband- made me a target of lots of judgement and negative talk. Who does this woman think she is?

Unfortunately, I had never experienced this before ever because I never put myself out there in any remotely flashy way.  So, I've been taking some time to sift through my emotions and thoughts about it all.  However, months have gone by,  and I didn't realize  I was ultimately hurting myself and my God  by letting other people's opinions of me stop the pursuit of His assignments for my life.

I can't explain it- each day, I wake up, and I feel a strong sense of conviction to start and finish projects/ tasks- some big, some small- for a whole span of different people or reasons.  The small, behind the scenes tasks are the easiest to complete.  However, the bigger tasks that are more public have been the ones I've been slothful to complete.

But, today, I say no more.

Life's too short.

Someone out there may need my work, time, or attention.

So, I will pursue even big things, if it can...

(1) make me a stronger  me

and

(2) lift someone else up

I've always been a unique individual who is a "big" personality because of my big heart.

I can be loud at times, but I'm really a quiet soul.

I LOVE to laugh and be silly, but only if it's funny and not mean.

I love to love others and make them feel special- because I think every life matters.

Also, 

I love being REAL and transparent because I don't know how else to be.

My passions include:  teaching and family.

My love for teaching is why I returned to school.

As the educational system is making changes, I want to be part of those changes- for my own kids (as their parent), but also for generations of families who are trying makes things work for their kids too.  To me, education is life or death.  Like my family, the educational system is a source of opportunity to better themselves and/or their families outside of their current lifestyle.  My siblings and I are products of that mentality.  So, I fight to keep teachers in the classroom and quality public school education alive.

Family motivates all things inside of me.

Covid was traumatic for my family.  My husband and I have been overworked, over run, and beyond stressed constantly the last almost two years.  Our eldest daughter was in Kindergarten when Covid hit. My eldest son had just settled into his new preschool class.   My then two year old son was in the middle of potty training and I was pregnant with the fifth baby.  Jude was my baby then and he was just 15 months. 

 Now, Miles is my baby and he is the same age as Jude.  Jude is 3 and Wyatt just finished learning how to potty train- almost a year and a half later than when he started.   Reggie started Kindergarten this year and Reagan is in 2nd grade.   It's been a crazy ride navigating what is best for my kids at this time.  Going back to school to learn about the latest research behind education and literacy  has been quite empowering.  

I really know what I'm looking for and fighting for in terms of my kids education.

I really know this time of learning and writing-in front of them- inspires them to pursue their own learning and dreams.

Resilience has become a new culture for our family- unexpected, yet true.

To truly embrace the culture of resilience- I must leave slothfulness behind.

For me.  

For my family. 

and

For the legacy we will leave- together- behind us-  here on Earth.

This devotional was a game-changing truth that came just at the right time.

Thank you Jesus!

With Love. Always,

Crystal